My balls are so social today.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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