it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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