You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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