Just cropdusted the office
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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