Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
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