I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize