just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
