You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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