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So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
