My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
