i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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