Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
