i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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