I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
