Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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