Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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