When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i dont even know how to be here
bring money and cleavage
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize