Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
