no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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