Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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