Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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