she woke up with a sticky ear
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
