Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
