I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
