So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
