Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Randomize
