i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Randomize
