Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
