Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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