i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
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