I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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