Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
