he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
