I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
that is very illegal...i love you.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize