I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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