I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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