so that wasnt chicken after all
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize