Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
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