I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
