super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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