Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
3 2 1 whiskey
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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