you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
So vagazzling was a success
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