Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
