I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
