I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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