Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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