Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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