Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
