dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
