There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
