how do flat chested girls get laid?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I licked your asshole in confidence.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
