Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
