I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize