those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Acid is not a monday night drug
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
