Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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