Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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