Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
