she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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