Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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