It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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