I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Is it penis luge time yet?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
