Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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