at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
