Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i was born a porn star she said
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Just pee around me
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
