she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
